Why Is Nobody Listening To Me?

May 25, 2011

SETI
photo credit: Paulgi

Don’t we just hate being ignored? It raises so many emotional feelings and reactions, doesn’t it.

To communicate effectively in a noisy and crowded environment takes some degree of skill. Sometimes, in a crowded environment, everyone wants to be heard. Some will shout or break off into separate individual conversations.

Poor communication has evidenced as a learned behavior. We see this in action all too often on the TV in soap operas and also in places where one would think it would not happen, such as the UK parliament. Jeering and shouting in parliament displays something akin to a pantomime. In a paradoxical way, it does draw attention by spectators, but also, in my view teaches a poor way to make a point.

So how can we elicit effective attention?

Asking questions can help. The most effective questions that are eye or ear catching are more than just general questions. If the question has a more personal nature to it that could result in a valuable transaction on both sides. It is more likely to get attention from more people. I saw an example of this today on Facebook by a fellow blogger, Dani Nir-McGrath, who posted a picture of lizard or snake like creature. She used a headline above the picture stating;

“Ack! The baby and I just found this on our yard. What IS it?”

This certainly caught my attention and I noticed that many others chose to respond to the question offering answers. This could potentially lead in to a debate.

Let’s break this question down.

“Ack!” – A kind of expletive indicating some kind of warning.

“The baby” – This appeals to people suggesting that a vulnerable child could be in danger.

“on our yard” – This is close up and of a very personal nature.

“What IS it? – Emphasis on “IS” tells us that the question has some urgency. The question is also demanding an answer.

Even without the picture, the question could have been worded “Ack! The baby and I found a strange and ugly, dangerous looking lizard like creature on our yard. What IS it?”

Again, I suspect, many folk may wish to investigate further and seek to help for all the reasons indicated above.

The question opens a loop to a potential discussion that others may wish to join in with. There is potential for this discussion to lead into a debate in different directions. It may lead some to Dani’s web page and other unrelated content. Some advertisers use similar examples like this explicitly to sell products. In the case I have mentioned, I believe it is a genuine piece of communication for what it is.

You have probably already realized that I used the title to todays post deliberately “Why is nobody listening to me?” to draw your attention to what I have written. There is also a deliberate grammatical error in the title!……. erm……… OK, I confess that I spotted the grammatical double negative after I’d written it, but I’ll keep it in for effect.

I’ve written this post because I feel I have something of value to share with you, especially those  that also have something of value to share and want to be heard.

 

How do you attempt to be heard?

 


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Marty

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  • http://www.jaynekopp.com Jayne Kopp

    Hey Marty, creative copy writing often suggests you ask a question in your title.  There really is an art to capturing the attention or curiosity of your readers.  I actually looked at the FB post, however it wasn’t the title ha ha… it was the picture.  It looked like ‘grass’ with a caterpillar until I clicked on it to expand.  I then noticed all the comments.  I think there were 9 at that time.  I wasn’t sure if it was a skink or not.  Looked like  newt to me! 

    Back to your post (sorry I digressed), I do enjoy however, when people ask questions in their titles or sub titles.  It gives you something to keep in mind as you read and the opportunity to share a perspective.  Wouldn’t you agree?

    lovely to see you Marty.  talk soon.

    Jayne

    • http://www.facebook.com/footstompers Marty Boneidol

      Hi Jayne,
      Thanks for you replay here. It was a fascinating post in Facebook wasn’t it. It’s interesting how people still continue to comment today. I agree that asking questions has a better response for what we write.

  • http://truelifesuccesssecrets.com/blog/ Tammy Matthews

    Hello Marty,
    I love asking questions and hearing all the amazing answers. I also love answering questions! Questions have their own realm of connectivity for us to communicate in a different way.
    Great Post
    Tammy

    • http://www.facebook.com/footstompers Marty Boneidol

      Hey thanks Tammy for your take on this.

  • http://marthagiffen.com Martha Giffen

    Wow! Loved the way you broke that comment down!  Asking questions is a great way to get a conversation going.  It definitely makes the listener want to “join in.”  Great post!

    • http://www.facebook.com/footstompers Marty Boneidol

      Hi Martha,
      I started writing this post originally as a reference to an NLP technique on persuasion. It then changed when I spotted Dani’s Facebook photo and ended up focussing on that.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1285338429 Jessica Mokrzycki

    Some great insights on how to get attention and effectively be heard. Great article!

    • http://www.facebook.com/footstompers Marty Boneidol

      Thanks Jessica. I think this one worked!

  • http://www.facebook.com/daninirmcgrath Dani Nir McGrath

    Marty, thanks for the mention!  It is amazing how somethings catch more attention to others…  I’d add that Facebook and social networks promote the conversation!  Once folks begin responding, it’ll appear in more news feeds and stay up longer!  

    • http://www.facebook.com/footstompers Marty Boneidol

      Hi Dani,
      You highlight some of the success of Facebook in viral sharing in your comment here. It’s a good trick.