A top 10 in modern fears is that of public speaking.
There is no argument to this. We are attracted to people that generate positive emotion within us.
Have you ever been to a meeting where the speaker struggles to deliver? I have. I’ve also had times when I’ve made some sort of public speech and learned what works. The occasions that have made an impact have been at church following my baptism a few years ago and also as a testimony at an Alpha Course meeting.
So why are people so fearful about public speaking?
We are fed with the notion (certainly in business) that there is a need to be professional. I think some people get set up to fail because they have to make a presentation on a product which they maybe have little emotional connection with. If we are asked to speak on a subject that we don’t fully believe in; (ask yourself that question honestly as to whether you truly believe, or are you just conning yourself) then it is likely there will not be any authentic energy in it. It may also cause undue anxiety and feed fear.
Successful speakers fully and truly believe in what they speak about. They have authority on the given subject. Having authority means that they have first hand knowledge and experience. Call it being an expert. Frankly, it doesn’t really matter what the subject is. It is the energy and passion combined with the first hand knowledge based on experience that matters.
I’m going to stir up this subject now with a few inspired thoughts of my own that offers some re-framing.
1. Speak with passion about what you know and care about.
Lets face it, we all have something to say from time to time. We all want and need to be heard. When we are listened to, we know we are alive. When become aware that we exist and have value. Speaking publically, when given the opportunity gives us the opportunity to gain confidence.
2. Pick the right time to speak
10 years ago, I worked for Mark Goldberg, an entrepreneur who made his fortune in IT recruitment in the UK. He subsequently lost it by buying a football club. Working for TV Jobshop was his second foray into recruitment. Mark’s biggest talent in my honest opinion was public speaking. He is a man of small stature, but his personality, passion really got us going on the motivational front. The trouble was, he would have his team meeting to revue the week on a Friday afternoon. We would all get motivated, then lose it all by Monday morning! Mark has always been a colourful character. Some people dislike him, but I admire his tenacity for keeping going in the face of adversity. He has recently quit as Bromley FC manager, but I’m sure he will pop up again somewhere.
3. Use emotional language
There is a lot of corporate speak in business meetings. I sometimes think these are “non words” or non phrases”. I see lots of people nodding at the collective words that people buy into and don’t really understand.
“Singing off the same hymn sheet”
“Consolidation is a dead fish travelling down stream”
“We need some synergy”
“Focus Group”
“Steering committee”
If you get bored, pick out a few of the buzzwords and phrases before the meeting and play bullshit bingo!
You can’t beat plain, emotional and spontaneous language to get a point across. Using spin in the short term may well catch peoples attention, but it won’t last forever. I love it when a politician speaks authentically, being prepared to sacrifice their career for something they are passionate about. Edwina Currie did this many years ago over the salmonella in eggs scandal.
It’s ok to use speech notes, but reading those words straight off the page doesn’t always have as much impact as speaking spontaneously.
4. Body Language
OK, so we all get nervous and self conscious. We are after all, human beings. We may well fear being laughed at and jeered, but at least that generates a reaction! That can be used to advantage. The important part about the communication is making appropriate eye contact with your audience.
Smile with your eyes.
Laugh, even!
Move around and get animated.
I’ll make a sportsmans bet that you tell me you haven’t an idea on what to speak about. Here’s a challenge for you.
Make a public speech about being fearful of public speaking. Tell it how it is. State how terrified you are that you won’t be listened to or that you’ll dry up. State how you are scared that you’ll faint and make a complete fool of yourself. Tell the audience about the physical feelings that are uncomfortable.
If you do this, you’ll tap into that fear of public speaking that everybody has. It will re-assure people that they are not alone in that fear.
If you want to prove you have authority on a given subject, speak publically about your life. You’ll be amazed how people will be interested.
Do you now feel inspired to do some public speaking?
What will you speak about?
Are you going to take the plunge and face that fear?
Are you going to help me dispell the myth that is fear of public speaking?
I’d love your feedback here. Spread the word and share with round all the social networking sites you are linked to.
BE BOLD!
Do you like what I have written here? You can get my free ebook with 15 affirming articles simply by entering your email address below and clicking “send”. Your email address will NOT be shared with 3rd parties. Thank you for reading
Do your eyes get really tired from reading as mine do?
Do you have trouble proof reading your own articles and get frustrated when you have missed a grammatical error in your content?
I’ve found a great way to overcome this. It is simple and very time saving. I recommend using text reading software. I’ve tested a product called Natural Reader. The voice produced on it is very easy on the ear. It is also very inexpensive. It saves so much time and effort stops that temptation to skip content, especially when reading an instructional article. You can just close you eyes and listen if you wish. Here is the link. Natural Reader.
I’m looking forward to tomorrow because I will be delivering a training workshop to staff that is intended to help people become motivated. The purpose is also to propagate this motivational energy so that it will snowball to others. So what is motivation and how does it manifest?
Everyone experiences motivation to a greater or lesser degree in their lives. Difficulties occur when our motivation is low. Motivation is clearly linked to our emotions. Positive motivation is driven by our sense of well being and purpose in life.
It is most effective when it comes from the very centre of our individuality and being. If we know who we are and accept that we have value, we will be able to focus on that motivation and be less likely to be distracted by outside influences. I feel certain that famous people that have achieved amazing feats have that knowledge of value in life. A typical person would be Sir Edmund Hillary who conquered Mount Everest.
Having a confident sense of personal value must surely be the key to achieving goals.
So why does our motivation sometimes wane? I think this is because the motivation is driven by some outside influence or source. Being motivated by seeking to prove somebody wrong may seem on the surface all well and good, however, there is a danger in this. When we come up against a challenge along the way, self talk may come in that says:
“Maybe the other person was not wrong about me. I’m going to fail and feel like a fool.”
It is quite possible that the other person will not think you a fool at all. If we are trying to prove someone wrong, then essentially our motivation is to attempt to make a fool out of the other person. Frankly, what purpose does that serve? It certainly has some sort of negative intention on our part.
Maybe the outside influence is to try to impress somebody. If we have personal value and are at peace with ourselves, surely there is no need to impress anyone else. Self value is far more powerful than any feedback that we get from anyone else. Of course, getting positive affirmations is important because they help to build and maintain a sense of personal value.
A few years ago, I became very enthusiastic and motivated by a business I got involved with. My motivation was driven to a certain extent by anger at having lost a job. It was my own sense of being wronged and wanting to prove that I could succeed. I got some limited success, but the driving (negative) energy source soon ran out. It ended with a breakdown of sorts where I felt I had failed. I felt I’d failed those who I love and care about. I felt that others would be disappointed by me and ultimately, I felt I had failed myself. The motivation did not come from my true self. I was even in denial about the fact I did not really believe in the product I was marketing!
When we feel enthusiastic and motivated about something, we can choose to evaluate where it comes from.
How much of it comes from the anticipation of receiving praise?
When we receive praise, are we able to accept it in a genuine and thankful manner that helps to build and maintain our personal and individual sense of value?
I write about this because it is a continued challenge on the journey of self discovery, self acceptance and sense of well being.
Be blessed folks…
Marty
Do you like what I have written here? You can get my free ebook with 15 affirming articles simply by entering your email address below and clicking “send”. Your email address will NOT be shared with 3rd parties. Thank you for reading
Do your eyes get really tired from reading as mine do?
Do you have trouble proof reading your own articles and get frustrated when you have missed a grammatical error in your content?
I’ve found a great way to overcome this. It is simple and very time saving. I recommend using text reading software. I’ve tested a product called Natural Reader. The voice produced on it is very easy on the ear. It is also very inexpensive. It saves so much time and effort stops that temptation to skip content, especially when reading an instructional article. You can just close you eyes and listen if you wish. Here is the link. Natural Reader.
After a late night playing our New Years Eve gig last night, I didn’t get to bed until 3am this morning and I’ve had a lie in as expected. Switching on my PC, my thoughts drifted to writing a blog today. For a while I considered giving it a miss because there wasn’t a subject that immediately came to mind. I just thought, if I’m going to do this, I need some inspiration. And there it was, the title for today’s article. So I set about the writing, suddenly feeling inspired.
For me, it is something that generates excitement and energy. I feel “at one” with myself. I feel creative. I feel emotionally connected to others. I feel positive. I feel confident. I have clear direction and focus. I’m far less distracted.
Inspiration doesn’t just happen. I believe that we need to make room for it. If we have a life full of emotional clutter, then it is all too easy to get distracted. Emotional clutter drains energy. Effectively, we have no room in our minds to consider how to move forward with new ideas. We become fragmented in relation to the world around us. If this is you right now or if it is something that occurs from time to time, I highly recommend that you consider taking on some counselling or therapy to help de-clutter and tidy your emotions.
Once you have space for inspiration, the road ahead is clear. Unlike being stuck in a frustrating traffic jam, there is now room to see ahead. You can gather speed with confidence and see where you are going. The road signs are visible and you can choose your direction.
I’ve drawn inspiration from many sources in the past. Some are words and poems such as the very famous Rudyard Kipling’s “If”. I’ve been moved by other items of wisdom such as The interview with God. Photographs of sunrises and sunsets such as the one at the top of this blog entry brighten my mind. Music, art, books, films, nature and the universe itself are all great sources of inspiration.
We have a new year and it’s always a time for opportunity. I’m suggesting that you make a decision to choose your future. Whatever is going on for you in your life right now, be aware that you have the gift of choosing how you feel about it. Seek help where you need to. All humanity is linked. We have compassion for others. It’s natural. We can choose to use that compassion to help each other. If we didn’t, we would simply be isolated beings with no connection to the world around us.
If you feel able to, I ask you to consider what inspires you. How does that make you feel? Can you feel energy and motivation enter your psyche? What can you see ahead of you? What creative thoughts come to your mind?
This is an exercise you might want to write down. Try to record your answers on a sheet of paper. See where is takes you. Give yourself permission to write down whatever comes into your mind when doing this. Nobody is going to see it unless you choose to let them. There are no rules or guidelines to what you choose to write. Even if you can’t think of anything, it is perfectly acceptable to write “I don’t know” or “I can’t see anything”. Whatever it is, write it down. By doing so, you create space in your mind for fresh thoughts. That is simply proof that it works.
I started this blog today with the thought of one word. “Inspiration”. I had no real clear idea of where it was going other than having faith that as I write, I clear the clutter in my mind and fresh ideas come flowing through.
I wish you all an inspirational, creative and positive 2011. After such a good 2010, I’m looking forward to a fantastic 2011 where I fully believe in the opportunities I have to continue to enjoy life to its full. Becoming more successful with my band “Beggars Belief”. Developing and designing my own life coaching material. I can choose to develop an opportunity to run seminars on this material. The amazing amount of material available to read will help in my continued self development.
Marty
Here’s another guy I’ve found on youtube that inspired me.
Do you like what I have written here? You can get my free ebook with 15 affirming articles simply by entering your email address below and clicking “send”. Your email address will NOT be shared with 3rd parties. Thank you for reading
Do your eyes get really tired from reading as mine do?
Do you have trouble proof reading your own articles and get frustrated when you have missed a grammatical error in your content?
I’ve found a great way to overcome this. It is simple and very time saving. I recommend using text reading software. I’ve tested a product called Natural Reader. The voice produced on it is very easy on the ear. It is also very inexpensive. It saves so much time and effort stops that temptation to skip content, especially when reading an instructional article. You can just close you eyes and listen if you wish. Here is the link. Natural Reader.
The decision I made about a year ago to pay some serious attention to my emotional state and get it sorted out properly is the best decision I’ve made in my life to date.
Have you ever felt the need to shout out “Stop the world and let me get off for a while”?
That feeling of despair and confusion is the most distressing of life experiences. There seems to be no time to think straight. The mind is working overtime and causing mental and physical exhaustion. Like trying to swim against the current, it feels like no progress is being made and you can sense you are going backwards. That current is actually trying to drag you to the place you need to be. It’s probably time to let go of the fighting and “go with the flow”.
So how does this work?
The first stage is to actually go and seek help. There is a need to trust in the process of your inner self or soul calling you to let go of the fighting. It’s a bit like maintaining the computer you are currently using to increase it performance and prevent it from crashing. We’ve all experienced the speed of a brand new computer and then notice that gradually, over time it begins to slow down and malfunction as more and more programs are added. The hard disk becomes cluttered. Other unhelpful processes get in the way, such as checking details of previously accessed programs, some of which may be of no further use. The computer processes can be cleared up by clearing the history of web pages visited that don’t need to be held in the forefront of the memory and also by defragging the hard disk.
The good news is that we can do this with our brain.
Taking some therapy is equivalent to booting your computer in “safe mode” and choosing one of the tools to make the repairs. The “defrag” option looks at all the processes and puts them into order, grouping them appropriately, discarding what is no longer needed freeing up some space. This allows everything to run much more smoothly. The human brain equivalent of a “defrag” is what I call emotional filing.
Of course, we can’t operate in “safe mode” for long periods of time, so the brain defrag needs to be done in stages.
There are of course many other tools that can improve the computers performance, some of which “claim” to fix all problems and often simply make things worse!
What tools can we use to perform maintenance on our minds?
Taking therapy is one, particularly when things are pretty messed up. Other techniques come under what is described as self help. These can be learning some meditation techniques, taking some physical exercise, taking appropriate rest, taking a restful holiday, sharing with trusted friends, keeping a diary or journal, and many more that don’t come to mind right at this minute. Of course, once maintenance is performed, everything works much better for a while, until the next time perhaps. I’m coming to the conclusion that people who don’t suffer too much with emotional problems perform regular maintenance on their minds. This may occur naturally (unconsciously) or they make a conscious effort to keep their minds running efficiently and effectively.
Sometimes, we are not aware of needing maintenance. Again, it’s a bit like your computer that run frustratingly slowly with many faults, but you just accept its slowness and don’t do anything about it until it finally breaks completely.
Do you perform emotional filing? If so, how do you do it? What techniques do you use? Do those techniques help?
Feel free to comment.
Merry Christmas,
Marty
Do you like what I have written here? You can get my free ebook with 15 affirming articles simply by entering your email address below and clicking “send”. Your email address will NOT be shared with 3rd parties. Thank you for reading
Do your eyes get really tired from reading as mine do?
Do you have trouble proof reading your own articles and get frustrated when you have missed a grammatical error in your content?
I’ve found a great way to overcome this. It is simple and very time saving. I recommend using text reading software. I’ve tested a product called Natural Reader. The voice produced on it is very easy on the ear. It is also very inexpensive. It saves so much time and effort stops that temptation to skip content, especially when reading an instructional article. You can just close you eyes and listen if you wish. Here is the link. Natural Reader.
